The Power of Words and Letters

Tell me you love me. XOXO (not physically!!!)

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I didn’t grow up in a family that always outwardly expressed our affection and emotions toward each other. Maybe it’s the reason why all of my friends tell me now that I’m an “awkward hugger.”But in place of that would be a steady stream of “I love you,” “I care for you,” “I am so proud of you,” and similar phrases from those who cared about me, ultimately validating their love for me. While I didn’t quite grasp it right away when I was younger, this cultivated a desire for words to reinforce how others felt about me or something at a given moment. 

The first time I concretely understood the significance of words to relationships in my life was my junior year of high school when I attended a Kairos retreat, where we unplugged and disconnected from reality for four days. While I can’t say I remember much, I know I did a whole lot of reflecting about myself. Most importantly to me, we had a letter night in which we received surprise letters from our family and friends who wrote to us before Kairos. 

I read letter after letter from the people I cared the very most about in my life. I had never at once read so many words of affection and appreciation toward me. As someone who struggles to express my emotion and doesn't like to display it in front of others, I was so overwhelmed with complete love, joy, and compassion. To this day, I don’t think I have ever cried more than I did while reading those letters. 

“You are so loved.” 

The phrase was a common theme in nearly every letter I read. Short and sweet, these words have stuck with me since. I keep the stack of letters in my bedroom — either at college or back at home in Pennsylvania — so I can go back and read the words from time to time as a reminder. 

If you can’t tell, words of affirmation is my love language. Fortunately for me, my family and friends are aware of my validation of their love for me through words. I’m pen-pals with one of my college friends over the summer who lives far away from me to stay in touch. My brother also chose to write me a letter for his goodbye high school remarks in a class he was in because he knew out of everyone in my family I would appreciate it the most.

Some of the important letters I've received and saved in my childhood bedroom at home (with some of my favorite books of course).

At 22, I truly appreciate the value words hold in my life and what they mean to me. I believe words are a beautiful gift that so many often take for granted.

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Although I love the power of words the most, I’m happy to report that I’m also working on my hugs. I’ve been told by my friends that I’ve gotten better. Less awkward.